Dr. Cheeto Cat

Position Title
Departmental Research Mascot and Feline Fellow

he/him/chonker
Physics Building, east side.
Office Hours
By appointment or opening of a tuna can.
Bio

Cheeto joined HPC@UCD as a stray scholar-in-residence and has since established himself as a permanent fixture of academic life. Although lacking a formal degree, he has consistently demonstrated excellence in curiosity-driven research and has made significant contributions to the department’s morale and well-being.

His work primarily centers on applied Box Mechanics, Lap-Centered Gravitational Fields, and Quantum Paw-sitioning. In addition to his research, Cheeto provides ongoing mentorship to graduate students in stress management and snack awareness. He is also recognized for his expertise in sunbeam allocation studies and nap-energy conservation.

Outside the laboratory, Cheeto can often be found patrolling the Physics exterior, engaging in outreach with passing students, or conducting field studies on food dish availability.

Education and Degree(s)
  • Ph.D. (Purring Highly Distinguished), Physics
  • M.Sc., Nap Energy Conservation
  • B.Sc., General Mischief and Applied Curiosity
Honors and Awards
  • Awarded continuous funding in Kibble and Treats, 2020–present.
  • Recipient, Golden Yarn Award for advances in applied string theory, 2022.
  • Distinguished Nap Medal, 2021.
Research Interests & Expertise
  • Quantum Paw-sitioning: Investigation into the simultaneous occupation of multiple physical states, including boxes, laptops, and human laps.
  • Thermal Fur-dynamics: Optimizing nap placement for maximal solar gain and fur-based heat retention.
  • String Theory (Applied): Experimental engagement with yarn and cable oscillation modes.
  • Gravitational Attraction Studies: Quantifying the irresistible force of a cat toward laps and warm keyboards.
  • Box Mechanics: Exploration of feline-object interactions within constrained cardboard enclosures.
Publications
  • Cheeto (2025). On the Lapward Drift of Feline Bodies: A Gravitational Study. Journal of Feline Mechanics.
  • Cheeto (2024). Purr Frequencies and Their Correlation with Graduate Student Productivity. Applied Acoustics Letters.
  • Cheeto (2023). Schrödinger’s Nap: A Field Experiment in Superposition. Quantum Cat Physics Review.